negativity
2004-01-17, 10:44 p.m.
heyz..an apology for that long naggy entry before this..on vampires! hehe..
"nights are cold girl, without your flame" blue, closer to me..
agree with the cold part..cold wind blowing..=P
ok..i'm here talking crap..which is what i practically always do..so..=P
think what i'm trying to do..is to stop myself from crying..(i'm doing that rather often nowadays, ain't i?) think it's coz of the song.."never realized how much i'm missing you" from the same song..who i have exactly in mind when i quote..i'm not sure..but i think it has a general meaning..hehe.
life is depressing..i've known that a long time ago..a cheerful facade kept me around for so long..will it hold on? or will it break down, finally giving in..after 7 long years? (was too young to know depression before) i have a complete family, that i guess, makes me contented..but contentment does not signify happiness..i have friends..but happiness does not last in that..i am loved, friends, family..i feel loved..but am i happy? so many questions..so much negativity..
ya know..if you have ever heard me crying..lucky you..you must be someone "closer to me"..=P i'm egoistical..i know..=P
remember i said something about me weakening? think it's really true..plan isolation has to start as soon as possible..if not..now. not much to do anywayz..everyone's busy..just let them get on with their work..and let me stay in a corner..^^..easy ehz..told ya..=P
think i'll need a penknife of sort soon..my scissor is getting blunt..-.-" can't cut thread or cloth properly..-.-"
figured out why i GB so much..the music's cheery..the people there are cheery too.."friends" who are actually on GB are definitely free..for me..for a game..that is positive..and..that's about the only thing that's separating me from "self-mutilation"..though i kinda disagree to that statement..-.-"
makes me wonder about why am i still around in this world..sighz. depressing. shall go gb..whahaha =P
cyaz around..takkairez kayz..don't ever be like me..=P bb!
Sapphire.
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