analysis~
2004-06-22, 12:26 a.m.
wahz..i got past the server overloaded and what not crap. *impressed*
i don't think i ought to update when i ain't in good mood..but simply couldn't resist. anything's better than the last entry. i'm sad..but not feeling inferior etc. different kinda sadness. =P
if there's one reason why i need to surround myself with people..it's coz..when that's the case..my brain etc. will automatically..switch to something between hyper and plain happy mood. it's like adrenaline being shot pretty naturally. for that..it feels better to be preoccupied with people ard..than to be solitary with way too much time in hands. idle time. might have picked up colin's "over-thinking"..but as i've told him..i don't think i over-think..juz that..i have too much on hands to think about..that my brains go into an overloaded mode..not good.
oh..and best part is..after thinking so much..i come to no conclusions. -.- then it's like..what's the pt of me thinking so much? but if i don't..i'm juz avoiding the issues. at least..it feels like it. i feel pretty hopeless really..needless to say..very selfish. what i do..have done..plans to do (nothing really)..seems to be in the name of others..but i think what i'm really afraid of..is hurting myself.
and this feels like i'm analysing myself..and frankly..it feels good. haha. i haven't really done this in a while..now this is the old me. the ability to look at things..including myself. in a 3rd person POV. look at it logically, systematically, and objectively. i love myself. hee! now i'm feeling happy.
Sapphire~
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