ultimate letout~~
2006-07-13, 10:05 p.m.
I've been posting alot recently, it seems. I guess everytime i feel down i'll just post. Diaryland has become my last resort. I don't even know why i got angry, but i guess, anger like many other feelings doesn't really need a reason to justify it. Only for others to comprehend. To the person who is feeling it, it's a feeling, not a result of a series of long complicated thinking process. If you don't get what i mean, maybe this analogy will help you. If i tell you i am hungry, that's a feeling. If you ask me why, then i'll go through the long series of complicated thinking process, and the answer might be that i hadn't eaten the whole day. That's the difference between feeling it and justifying it. We humans, are spending too much time justifying everything. Even in math problems. Sometimes, leave the justification, there just isn't any.
There are times i really want to go back to my one-girl-can-be-an-island. Then i think of the aftereffects, then i start hesitating. What a coward i am. The happier i feel, the sadder i can get. Same logic as high hope, more disappointment. "i'll build a wall around my heart" from Westlife. It's a lovely song, but i'm in no mood for song right now. The sound of the weather after rain suits me just fine.
Rain keeps me from crying too much. I always feel that the sky is crying for me, and thus, there ain't a need for me to cry. Warp logic? But i like it. Sue me.
"Nobody knows who i really am,
maybe i just don't give a damn.
And if i ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort and keep me strong"
Sometimes i really wonder. They always say, if you can't take care of yourself, how do you take care of others. And now i say, if i can't take care of myself, who will take care of me?
Was gonna do math, now i just wanna sit on my bed. Maybe i'll feel better later. =)
Sapphire
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