license, self confidence
2007-04-02, 4:33 p.m.
I have been procrastinating, about blogging, but what happened today must be recorded! Actually all that happened was that i passed my driving tests, both motorcycle and car. And my favourite malay word for now is LULUS. Guess what it means. Yep, it means "pass". Ahahaha. I do not know how long this favourite word will last, doubt there will be another malay word i will like. So be it.
Wanted to blog about confidence recently, just kept putting it off because it has been so happening here. In a, not free anytime, way. So what is it that gives people self confidence? That fuels the stride and grace they walk with, that air that surrounds them and make others look at them in awe. Much to say about this, but i want to focus on the self confidence in women. People say, the most beautiful woman is a woman with confidence. I was not able to fully understand it, or rather, i did not have the chance to appreciate the depth of that statement. Only until recently, when i had gone through a short phase of losing the self confidence i was once so proud of, did i truly admire the woman around me who had it.
There are so many factors that confidence stems from, looks, in terms of beauty, figure; and achievements, in school, in life and in work, are however two main factors that applies to all. Those who feel that they have accomplished nothing in life would not have such confidence. Those who feel inferior..the statement says it all. So where did my confidence come from? My looks? I thought i looked alright, not drop-dead gorgeous, not gorgeous even, but decent at the very least. Not hideously ugly. My figure? I think i am still kinda fat. Not that (as someone has kept reminding me) i had or am doing anything to change that fact. I admit though, that i see plenty of fat-ter people around me that makes me feel a lot better. (Bad ain't i. xD) Accomplishments? I am ashamed to admit that i cannot think of anything that i can list under the category of accomplishments. Which just changed today, all credits to my driving license. It was an affirmation which i badly needed, almost had a phobia of cars after that incident. Made me realize how weak metal really is. Such irony. So after all that analysis, the only conclusion i can arrive at, is that i had no reason to have the confidence i had. And the thing that made me think back and evaluate was how for once in my life, i was afraid of getting fat. Sounds really weird, but i was really getting scared. Probably thanks to my aunt who kept on saying i am getting fat. Just because she is the one worried that. -.-! Salute to all confident fat/obese women! I know quite a few.
Enough of my ranting. I have regained my confidence. Thanks to someone. ** lol. That shall be all for now, till the next time i feel like blogging...or another achievement. Cya~!
Sapphire
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