Majestic Beauty

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pointless analysis
2007-10-22, 2:29 a.m.

New skates! If all goes well, will be getting a Bauer Supreme 30! Same as cha's and macy's. I want electric blue laces. Is there even such a thing? =X But will look pretty. =/

Geisha of gion is v. nice, even as a reread. =D

Wants to practice Secrets more, probably tomorrow morning, if i'm not going malaysia. Yeah i might be going, sorta didn't have the chance to tell you. Well you'll be working anyway. =) If i'm going, will probably only be back late at night, like 12 am-ish. Yep, will let you know if and before i leave s'pore.

Needs to study. =/ Will try to, want to settle skates fast, then will stop thinking about it! At least i'll have one classmate skating (hopefully) every week with me. Baby should be able to make it no? Wheee.

Everything somehow ends up making me think of him. =/ The reason why i hanker after being physically with him is probably 'cause i feel distanced from him mentally/spiritually however you put it. It's all probably not meant to be analysed, but i need to understand this. For all my years well, in this kinda thing, it's the first i feel so insecured. Insecure over? I don't know really. Another girl (or guy =X)? I doubt it. Maybe it's my decreasing self-esteem/confidence.

It's incredible despite how more people are telling me i look better, i get these bouts of insecurity over myself even more often. Actually none at all in the past. Oh well, i'll get over it somehow.

Listening to songs to sorta calm my emotions. More like pulling it away from the negative. =] The song "zhi dui ni you gan jue" by Fei Lun Hai and Hebe feels special to me. The singing is sub-standard truth be told. The lyrics are nothing special really. It just touches something in me when i hear about how special a person can be to another.

Argh, mosquitoes damn youuu! Itch. =(

I guess, my conclusion is...insecurity resulting from lack of self-confidence. Sounds spastic even to me. Which leads to..i seriously cannot unlock this anytime soon. V v vprivate. I've classmates reading this blog! So nowae. =] Karsten was asking why i lock my blog. Well it really was an on-the-spur action. Welcome to my blog, cha~ =]

Okay, after getting a whole bunch of stuff done..it's 3.30am, compare that to the time i started. *points upwards* This entry is taking forever to be completed.

Just have to get through this somehow on my own. Maybe attempt to fill my up my schedule. WITH STUDYING. YES WHAT A WONDERFUL PLAN. Right. Cheers. This is getting way too long. So goodnight. Want hugs. =/

Sapph

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