i'm an idiot, i'm an idiot x gazillion times.
2008-02-28, 9:00 a.m.
Had one of the worst nights in my life. Having one of the worst mornings in my life too. Maybe this will teach me to not skip meals so happily. Lol. True, if i'd slept earlier things would have been fine, for i have been through such before. Meanwhile, i can only hope that my rice dumpling be ready fast fast. Could barely stomach water, wonder how i'll stomach all that food. Glad i did manage to catch some sleep after all, i know i'll need it.
Tang once said to me, don't say sorry, because if that need arises, it just means there was a better way of dealing with things. I said..there are some things (many things actually) that may be handled in the most appropriate manner, but there will still be casualties. There are much to be learnt in life, and truly, one of them would be to understand that there are "sacrifices". Don't think i'll ever reach that nirvana stage. I did not like the sound of that term, it sounded very i-think-i'm-high-and-mighty, hence people in pain caused by me can only be called noble sacrifices. Lol.
Another thing that i pondered about from a long time ago is..what is the best time to deliver a bad message. The answer, is never. Yet that that must come out has to be let out. The messenger of bad news is one never welcomed.
No matter how wise i may seem, no matter how old i may get, how old i may look, inside me, i still find the child that needs to grow up. It is all pretty selfish, and trust me, oh i know it so, but a kid who is selfish occassionally just needs a spanking. In perhaps different forms. I hope i can skate properly later. In my sleep-deprieved, emotionally-malfunctioning state. It'll be too much to hope that i skate well, and much the disappointment may be, i still hope so. Darn, dumplings not ready yet.
If only there was a way to make everything better. Whoever said, ai ren hao xing ku, bei ai zui hao le, was an idiot. <3s mi bear bouquet.
Sapph
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