disorientated ramblings
2011-01-20, 2:25 p.m.
In a bad shape today. Didn't catch enough sleep, insomniac, not no time to sleep, which is worse in my opinion. Due to the lack of sleep, i've absolutely no appetite, totally don't feel like eating anything. Generally enshrouded in a feeling of epic sian-ness. Today don't seem very promising does it. Had two people disappointing me today. Disappointing ain't the most accurate word really, but it's pretty close i guess. It's all weird...and i guess eventually, i think i deserve it, from one of them at least. Sigh. The older i grow, the less i seem to understand. Is this the way it's supposed to be? I thought it was the other way. I guess this is just part of the, the more you know, the less you know you know.
If by this time you can't tell how sian and disorientated from how i'm writing, nothing will ever tell you. Seems to be endless ramblings, with streaks of sanity in them.
Feeling so messed up, why do i let people affect me so? It's so silly. Feel like knocking myself on the head for letting it, and it could probably put me to sleep too. Talk about killing 2 birds with a stone, now how do i go about doing it?
Did i mention my usual cheer-me-up songs are failing too? Sucha bad bad day. Should stop rambling, i'll never get to the point since i can't anyway. I wish for my growth, i'm so confused over this that and the other. I never understand anything anymore, should i keep trying? Or should i just live my life in continuous delusions. But doing that means i don't know how to react and behave to things, i really don't know. Someone show me the light, and nope, not you there. Where's my Kang ShinWoo? Do you even exist? Have i missed you already? Will you ever be my future? So tired, wishing there was someone i could trust with everything. But i can't. I won't. Or it's just not the time to yet. What does my life hold in store for me? What about yours?
Sapph
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