|
New
Old
Profile ~
Links
Rings
Cast ~
Email
G-book
Notes ~
Host
Image
Design 2 years on.. 2 years later? Hello! It's been almost two years since my last post, so much has happened. There's so much to tell to update, because just over the last 6 months, a crazy amount of craziness happened (in the bad way kinda crazy, not the get married in Vegas kinda crazy). I can joke so I guess I'm still alright. Honestly I think I'm too stressed up and I'm refusing to face it. I kinda wish I had a shoulder to cry on and just let it all out once and for all, although as I sit here I wonder what use is there in that. I wake up every day, put a smile on my face, and go on with every day life as best as I can. I almost convince myself that I'm fine, but then the dreams haunt me at night. Sometimes I wake crying, sometimes I wake with a nagging feeling of just something not quite right, sometimes I wake up thinking I didn't dream but halfway through the day the dream comes back to me in the midst of everything. It's odd, and I don't know how to fix it, how do I fix something that I can't even admit is a problem? I'll be heading to HK soon to open some bank account or something, then to Macau for some holidaying and alone time enjoyment. I never thought I'll choose to solo HK in this life, but then again so many things that I never expected has happened in the last year. On a happier note, because I know I'll come back and read this and I'd want to give myself a reason to smile. I finished Nagoya's Women's Marathon in 6:30:42! There, who would have thought I'll sign up for a full marathon, alone, and completed it. The experience was amazing, exhilarating, and better than any adrenaline-high I could get from roller coasters. It helps knowing that if I could get through that, I certainly can get through anything! Note to self: no matter how tiring, how long the distance is, how painful, how tired the body is, if there's a will, there's a way. I feel like I've embarked on a new chapter in life, and that I'm finding myself again. I truly wonder where will I be, what will I be like in 3-5 years time. I'll be in my early 30s, I might have migrated, I would probably be alone. I've always believed my life has been mapped out, just fork roads of choices here and there. I wonder how long more is this road, and what lies at the end of it, I just hope it's not regrets. I'm feeling pensive today, and just a 'lil restless. My ankle has yet to recover from it's sprain/hairline fracture. I tried jogging (bad idea by the way), now I'm stuck with doing daily squats as my only form of exercise. This sedentary lifestyle is killing me slowly. Meanwhile in life, as difficult as things have gotten, been through some rough patches recently, I'm very thankful for the different benefactors in my life. I only realized this when I was trying to cheer my friend up who was complaining about how tough life has been getting recently. So here is a shout out to all of you. My Family members, my friends (new and old), and everyone whom I've met and helped me feel like a better person. There will be more choices to make in the near future, I hope I make decisions that I'll not regret, but regret is not something I do, because every thing happens for a reason and it shapes the future for a reason. May seem like a terrible thing now, but maybe it was a necessary pain for something new. I love you. Yours Always, Sapphire |