what is love?
2007-10-25, 1:45 a.m.
Here i am again! After an hour long bath..that left me plenty of time thinking while just lying in the tub. I'm not going to go all emo or what not. Aiks, just got distracted by my dad. What a fascinating conversation that came with 50 bucks. Lol. Jealous, baby? =P
The thought that has been rolling round and round in my head is..what is love. You ask 10 people, and they'll give 10 different answers. You ask a million people and chances are no 2 answers would be the same. There is nothing shocking in that. There is simply no textbook answer to this one rhetorical question. Everyone sees love differently, interprets it differently and expresses it in their own way.
There is, indeed, no such thing as right or wrong love, however, there is right or wrong way of expressing it. Some people choose to give unconditionally, but often, the results are disastrous. The other may feel indebted, simply uncomfortable with taking, or while able to keep taking and give nothing in return, the one giving will be unable to withstand it. Simply put, loving is two way. Noble love exists, but no one is capable of achieving that without incurring sufferring on oneself. To truly flourish in love, one must give and take. The scale does not have to be even, for no two people are the same, and it is in that non-conformity that the unity of two is so beautiful.
I was asked what characteristics/habits etc i would want changed in my guy (that sounds really possessive -.- well you get the point). I answered..nothing. That was the first and very truthful answer that came to mind. There were certain things i wouldn't like in my guy, smoking, obsessive drinking and gambling. Maybe casual sexual intercourses if it applies. The fact is, if any/some/all these applied to him, i probably wouldn't be with him, and if i did i probably wouldn't expect him to change even if i badly wanted him to. Well, so to sum it up. I probably accepted him for who he is, or is willing for everything that i'm gonna find out about him. I think that also showed how much i've grown. It was a progressive change, and i believe my classmates had a part to play in it. Truth be told, there are probably many things i want to change about him. But i'm no longer expecting it, though if he does change it'll be a pleasant surprise. Bottomline is..
It's about finding the guy that is right for me, not about making the guy right for me.
Yes what wise words. =P Sidetracking and emo-ing abit. I miss the goodnight calls. =/
Sometimes i wonder if it is me who is unable to maintain a conversation, or is it the others who are unable or unwilling to respond. But whenever i start having that doubt, i find old acquaintances whom i used to have trouble conversing with, talking whole night long! That normally clears the doubt till the next bout of it hits me. =)
And all that thinking in the tub also lead to..why would anyone love me? I'm not pretty, fat, emo-ish, not smart, ineloquent, unsocial-able, witty-ness that varies with the crowd i'm hanging out with. Hmmm..talk about food for thought. Am i being over critical of myself? Maybe. Doesn't really make that any better. >.< I need a reason to love myself again. To love who i am for what i am. Recognizing all my faults and still loving the person i am. Maybe then, others will see me and love me. I sound despo. =X That however does accurately describes how i feel. To be loved, to be contented. Simply 'cause i wouldn't know how to make life better because it really is wonderful already. Yes, i could have been smarter so i really wouldn't need to study, i could have more cash so i can spend it buying every thing i wanted. However if i was there, i would probably be lacking many things i have now. I really ought to be contented. =) Although i know what would really make me the happiest person on earth, that however is shhh. Ciaos!
Sapph
P.S. Welcome Roy, decided to let you in too. Acknowledging the wonderful person that you are. =)
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