Confused confused confused.
2007-12-09, 11:36 a.m.
Loads of stuff to write, but nowhere to begin. Do chronological order then, in the string of events.
Roy's place for pre-party and cheap drinks (boils down to that eventually) and a get-to-know-everyone-else session. Greenfairy's bloody strong stuff. It has delayed action which makes it all the more lethal. I was so darn close to my limit that it was scary. >.< When we (corinna and I) thought we had to walk in, i swear i thought i'll just throw up and give in to the headache there and then. I was high, but it came with other baggage, trespassed the limit a little. =/ Ohwell, then went for zoukout. Music's so-so, quite amusing the way we were wondering how many songs the mc was going to ruin. Remember talking a lot of rubbish, watching people check ade out and those caucasians. o.o Then was breakfast at Mcs at harbourfront centre. Took bus 163 to amk central, that's when the horror began.
The general emotions i was feeling from the time i was on the bus are basically these. Confused-distraught-frightened-relief-anger-confused and i do not know exactly how i feel now. Just feeling very tired and still wondering why i drank so much. My alcoholic system withstands an incredible amount of alcohol (considering mass and all), delayed responses and lasts very long. It's crap, the aftermath, but i do like drinking. Ahahaha, bloody alcoholic. =X Back to the story.
Fell asleep on 163, top deck 5 rows from the front. Was alright until i reached a few stops from thomson and woke up. This brown guy (to put it simply) just tried to pull me towards him and told me to go back to sleep. I was like "wtf?!". Struggled to lean on the window, then he was asking me for my name after a long while. Replied with a, "why do you go around on buses asking for people's name?" to which i did not get a response. Then he asked me for my nationality. Do i look like i'm a philipino?! Bloody hell. By then i was freaked out and irritated. Then a lady came up and sat 2 rows in front of me and i felt slightly better. Was messaging jason, thank you kor, for stabilizing my emotions. Then I saw a bus inspector boarding the bus the stop after the cjc stop. I've never, i swear, never felt so glad to see one of them. He came up, checked my pass, then that guy's ticket and told the guy he over-rode. The guy then said he's getting off next stop (at upper thomson road) so he went to the lower deck (thank goodness!), and even then, the bus inspector had to chase him off the NEXT stop. Explained to the bus inspector the situation and thanked him. Lol. I'm so darn glad it's over. Oh and somewhere in between he tussled my hair. I've never washed my hair so thoroughly.
Then there was the very shocking news that was told to me. That left me very confused and got me thinking till i gave up because i was getting nowhere. I am still wondering if it's true. Have i been over sensitive in the wrong areas and left out the important ones? But what i said still stand, if put through the same scenario over again, the same result will occur should all other factors remain a constant. I didn't know what to do, i chose to not do anything and till now, i've no idea what i should've done.
On top of that, it's funny how less than 24 hours ago i was telling a friend how lucky i am to have him (kor) and her (cha), then this all happens. Only have myself to blame~ Okay, before i start a self-deprecating session. I'll stop somewhere here. It's not doing anyone justice, but i'm tired and hungry and bloated. Feeling crappy on the overall. Wondering how crappy it'll be skating on wednesday, or should i just not go. Nah, i'm not the type to avoid people at this expense. I got new gloves! I'm reappreciating colours like gray and brown. =)
Okay, off to dig up food, work cancelled because of rain (thank goodness). I hope everything works out, but nothing works out if nothing's done to try making it work out. I'm a loser for a friend and should just.. oh crap. bye.
Sapph
Edit: I've breathed in enough cig smoke to last me 3 years. >.<
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