rambling
2006-09-02, 11:29 p.m.
Yo~
First things first. I'm feeling so guilty, haven't studied in 2 days, and prelims are like a week away. >.<
Secondly, feeling this sense of longing and detachment. Probably because of the tv series i've been watching, that korean drama. It makes me feel like i'm 13 again, dreaming of the day i'll meet this guy of my dreams (who doesn't exist). It's another fairytale set in modern times, which is something that doesn't happen, often enough anyway. How many prince charming are there to go around? It's not just his good looks, he's so sweet to the girls he care about, sometimes in the show, i disapprove of the way he handled certain situations, but everyone has their faults. And when he likes the girl, he goes all out for her, the girl too. They quarrel so often, on the verge of breaking up, or even have broken up, as declared by the girl. But the guy would say, so everything must be as you say? It sounds nicer in mandarin. =P As my sister says, he's got a terrific dress sense, and a good figure and nice hair, but i guess, all credit goes to the crew behind the scenes. His shirts are actually quite weird, like lime green, bright pink even, pink smoking jacket, even his black shirts have weird designs. He manages to carry it off though, maybe it's the way he's so fair yet not girl-ish. The way he smiles, and you just cannot get angry at him, or the way he smirks and it just pisses you off. I'm infatuated with a tv character. Lol. Don't get jealous~~ xP I feel like i know him, and he's someone that'll never fall in love with me. He does some foolish things sometimes, and he does even more foolish things to cover it up, and it all works out. Somehow. The thing that made the deepest impact on me, was the advertisement they focused on in the show at the last-ish part.
Love, like you've never been hurt.
Work, like you don't need the money.
Sing, like no one's listening.
Dance, like no one's watching.
Live, like there's no tomorrow.
They focused on the first line, but the whole poem thing struck me quite hard, and the first thing that came to mind was. Study, like there's no exams tomorrow. And the next thing that came to mind was, no exams?! Why study? Ironic isn't it. Work like you don't need the money? Why work? And it all boils down to deriving pleasure from the process. Of working, of studying, and enjoying the fruits of your labour at the end.
I think i've got this stupid smile plastered on my face, a half smile, half smirk. I'm really tired now, eyes hurting, and all i want now, is a change in focus in life. Exams after exams for 10 over years take its toll. It's tiring, boring and a slow poison. It's too near to the end to give up now, so i won't. Just wished there was someone to talk to in the middle of the night. I missed that, just enjoying the silence at night, it's something that cannot be found in the daytime, no matter how quiet. Enjoy a midnight rain, in the old house that no longer stands. Enjoy a breathtaking dawn, which i no longer know where to find. Enjoy a night out at a beach, something i don't know when i'll achieve.
And i realized, the true reason why i would not take my life, is that, i want to find out where i'll be and what i'll do 10 years down the road. 20 years down, would i be married? To who? Where would i have gotten in my career. There's too much to look forward to in the future, it may look bleak now, but i'm a curious person. Another cute thing from the show.
Man marry out of boredom,
woman marry out of curiosity.
So once a man gets bored of marriage, he divorces. Easy life. And when a woman knows what's marriage like, would she remarry? It's a rather interesting notion.
And i'm looking for this song in the show, which is not in their OST, and i don't know what's the title. It's terrible. But the song's so cute! And i wanna learn to play "Can't help falling in love with you" on piano. No score! xP Get the hint?
Goodnight. I'll be slacking for a while more. Till next time.
Sapphire
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